Grieving Parents: How To Handle This

There's nothing worse than being a parent who's lost a child, but that doesn't mean you should avoid them. A lot of us are uncomfortable with such a situation, as its not the "natural order" of life, and I pray that no one else has to go through this kind of tragedy. Tommy's passing was almost three weeks ago now, and it feels like a lifetime already. Time has slowed down, and while our heart's are heavy with pain, I can't say enough thank you's to all of the people who've been so supportive during this difficult time.


So what should you do if you know someone who's child passed away? The first order of business is to give them some time, as they are going to need it. The best ways to support grieving parents, is if you see them, say how sorry you are. Let them know that you are thinking about them, and praying for them during this terrible time. Send them a card with a heartfelt message. The cards we received during Tommy's leaving us, left us feeling comforted while in profound sadness. We knew we were loved, and that he was able to make a difference to people, which gave us strength. The folks who brought food to us, even though we didn't eat a lot of it, will never know how appreciative we were. There was a lot of weight loss in the past few weeks, but the food we were able to eat kept us sustained, and better able to handle Tommy's final arrangements.

Each person handles grief differently, but those two things helped us a lot, and continue to at this time. There's going to be explosive anger and sadness that can't be controlled if you are in a similar position as we've been, and please don't take it personally at all. There's going to be raw emotional reactions, as I cried in the middle of a grocery store, and a school. Let that person cry, and if they want a hug, give them one by all means. An embrace or pat on the back can mean a lot, and while it might not stop the crying, it lets the grieving parent understand that there are others that care about them, and feel sad for them. Grief has many forms, and the anger and sadness that I experienced almost crushed my spirit. But the loving arms of so many, helped me to carry on, and the fight to find a cure for Angelman Syndrome and devote money to seizure research will go on forever.