A Spiritual Experience

**As many of you know I lost my son Tommy at five years of age, to a seizure caused by his Angelman Syndrome Condition. He was unresponsive in his bed after naptime on November 4th 2009, and I can't tell you how painful this experience has been. Yet I wanted to share something with the Epinions community, because you've been so kind to our family during this challenging time. I have a lot of questions about religion, but I do believe in a higher power. Sometimes I wish my faith could be stronger, as I sometimes am skeptical by nature, but yesterday I think I was touched by the hand of God in a profound way. Here's excerpts of a letter to my minister about what happened. And again, thank you to all who've been so supportive. This experience yesterday has just totally blown me away.I cannot convey in words how helpful you've both been to us during this difficult time, and today marks the two month anniversary of Tommy's untimely passing. The past few months have been a whole series of challenges, and while we will never get over what happened, we will most certainly get through it. The "parents worst nightmare" is an appropriate term for the death of a child, and I was touched by reading Abe Pollin's obituary where he described the loss of two of his children. He said "Not a day goes by that I don't think about them." And I also think of Jim Moss, a great man who used to teach me to ride horses, and I've been in touch with his son. Jim sadly passed away from Cancer a few years ago, and he was a real character. Yet his approach to life of "Once you get kicked off a horse, don't let the fear overcome you, but hop back on the saddle and ride." I hope you'll understand that I'm usually very private about my religious beliefs, as I do have doubts about what the Bible says. For instance, I don't like the treatment of gays in Leviticus if I can remember correctly, and I wonder if however many writers wrote the book changed it to appease leaders from years ago, or emphasizing their own personal views. My core belief is all religions, whether Christian, Jewish, Islamic, Buddhist, or other branches all express their love of God in a different manner. One should never turn their back on those of other faiths, as a co-worker of mine believes, "who's a supposedly born again Christian." He told me I'd go to Hell if I acknowledged other religions beliefs, and I told him to kindly "send me a glass of ice water." Yesterday, was the the third time in my life, that I cried tears of joy. The first two were Tommy's and Alexander's births, but yesterdays was maybe even more profound. I was at work, and asking God "If you really are there, and you hear my pain, send me a direct message." It was a rough morning, cold, and I was a bit grumpy about handling service calls that were building up. I got dispatched to a call from a middle school that I thought was previously taken care of, and to say the least, a bit annoyed about having to drive out to Centreville's Liberty Middle School. I waved to the private company security officer who does the parking detail for the Baptist Church which has a conregation there. I went to check pipes that had burst the night before, and found out that additional repairs were needed. Since it was so blustery cold, I figured I walk around to the front of the building, and just wave to the officer out of professional courtesy, do the necessary paperwork, call our dispatcher, and have the necessary maintenance folks respond. Yet something compelled me, that I cannot in simple terms explain, to walk over this older gentleman doing security for the church. The wind kicked up and I wasn't dressed appropriately enough for it, but yet I walked to him and started to shoot the breeze. He had a former career in military intelligence, and we had a "shop talk " conversation about the nonsense we've dealt with. He talked about his upbringing in southern Virginia, and how when he was 14, his father left their entire family. His poor mother had to feed all of his brothers and sisters, and he had to take a role in helping out. This was back in the Jim Crow Days, and yet he told me that a white man who owned property nearby, helped out the family. Then he said to me "What year did you graduate from High School?" I said "1994." He said then "you've probably heard about my son at Herndon High School in 1983." I told him no, and he explained that his son had a congenital heart defect, and died on the football field. How devastated he was, but he realized what life is is all about the human spirit of resillience." I told him about Tommy, and we both hugged each other in the parking lot. It must have been a strange sight to see two big guys in uniform hugging and crying in the parking lot", but I think this is one case where a prayer was heard and answered. As I left for another call, I cried tears of joy that went through every bone in my body. The rest of the day was so busy, and it didn't bother me at all, even though I usually get quite irritated when responding to call to call.